Out of the Shadows

….and into the light.

We went to the Museo Thyssen-Bornemisza today, and saw the “Shadows” exhibit. The premise of the exhibit was to bring to our attention the host of implications, problems, and solution inherent in the representation of the shadow in art from the Renaissance to the present day. For us, in various ways, the shadow is an analogy for our recent past, inspiring present, and unknown future.

The shadow of cancer has consumed our lives since we first learned of Barbara’s diagnosis after visiting the Thompon’s and Blais’ for New Years. There were more questions than answers, and it was a dark time of speculation and ramifications. As the treatments progressed, the dark shadow began to change, and eventually a clean PET scan turned the shadow a pale blue of hope. The shadow of illness still exists for Barb, as it does for us all, but the shadow has turned from formidable and frightening to acknowledged and respected.

From January to May, the shadow of our delayed trip has changed us in unpredictable ways. We returned from Central America changed people, and the return to our homes did not provide us with the same comfort, the same content as in the past. We had tasted a different life, new cultures, foreign languages, new challenges, and were transformed by the experience. We have been uneasy and restless these past few months knowing that we could and should restart the world tour, if only when.

To our friends and family, we were transient, transplanted visitors - shadows that came and went with the sound of rolling suitcases, air mattress pumps, sofa bed squeaks and ill-timed entries and exits. We wanted to visit more often and for longer, but the next house, the next relationship required attention. We felt hollow and fleeting, and our hosts must have felt frustrated or unfulfilled. Alas, a shadow is never what we want it to be. It just is.

Here in Madrid, we walk among the Spaniards, and beside them as they shop for groceries, have a morning coffee, conduct business on their cell phones, and raise their families. We are shadows in their lives because we want to learn what it means to live as a Spaniard, if only for a short time. We move freely and faceless through the streets of Madrid, here in the moment but just outside reality.

We are so happy to be back together, and sharing this experience. Our lives are expanded and amplified by the joys and wonder that we see in each other as we venture through the unknown. We are each other’s shadow, and as the impressionists perfected, shadows can be represented through all the colors of the universe, depending how we choose to experience the world.

Vivir la vida buena.
(live the good life)